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SimplyOz Blog: You know you're an Australian if ...
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AUSTRALIAN IF:
- You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
- You're liable to burst out laughing whenever you hear of Americans "rooting" for something.
- You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'.
- You believe the 'L' in the word 'Australia' is optional.
- You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza ...played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.'
- You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
- You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
- You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
- You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.
- You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'.
- You believe that cooked-down axle grease makes a good breakfast spread. You've also squeezed it through Vita Wheats to make little Vegemite worms.
- You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
- Beetroot with your Hamburger... Of course.
- You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again' And "Living next door to Alice".
- You believe that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.
- You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.
- Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.
- You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, While 'scuse me' is always polite.
- You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
- You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle and a seat belt buckle becomes a pretty good branding iron.
- Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.
- You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies'.
- You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'.
- When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.
- You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in -o: arvo, combo, garbo, kero, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto, goodo etc.
- You know that there is a universal place called "woop woop" located in the middle of nowhere...no matter where you actually are.
- You know that none of us actually drink Fosters beer, because it tastes like shit. But we let the world think we do. Because we can.
- You have, at some time in your life, slept with Aeroguard on in the summer. Maybe even as perfume.
- You've only ever used the words - tops, ripper, sick, mad, rad, sweet - to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you REALLY mean it.
- You know that the barbecue is a political arena; the person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man. And the women make the Salad.
- You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.
- You understand what no wucking furries means.
- You've drank your tea/coffee/milo through a Tim Tam.
- You own a Bond's chesty. In several different colours.
- You know that roo meat tastes pretty good, But not as good as barra. Or a meat pie.
- You know that some people pronounce Australia like "Straya" and that's ok.
- And you will forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand!!
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